Becoming a parent released me into the actual present. The present, I have discovered, is full of possibilities. It is no more and no less than what we make it. Seriously, as a parent, you are shaping the present and future every single moment!
In the messiness of motherhood, I learned to embrace chaos in my creative work. For me, creative work is no longer about having a fixed product in mind. Now I think of my role as setting the stage for something, and letting the rest unfold. If I am lucky, the unfolding reveals beautiful things I did not anticipate. I can sit back and enjoy. I can step in whenever I have the urge, adding a couple rocks to the creek to change the water flow.
It's like play.
My first child is now an adult, and my second child is just starting to turn into his own individual. My children extend my perception of the world, and more. How can even science explain the influence of these creatures on my subliminal self? As they develop their own passions and interests, my own psyche and all my brain cells constantly remix and morph in ways I could never have foreseen. Dormant parts of myself are reactivated. I am merely a node, where energies converge. I have no fixed self. I can’t explain it or resist it or change it, it just happens. So I flow with it.